LIVING FOR THE NOW
Let’s face it, life is never 100% perfect. There is always something that we feel could be better. Sometimes we have really good reasons for the negative outlook. For example, if we’ve just lost our job or are in the middle of some crisis, sure, imagining some rosier future may be a very healthy coping tactic to get through the slump - so long as it’s a temporary state.

The problem comes in if we find ourselves constantly thinking or talking about some future state where everything is going to be going well for us. That place doesn’t exist. Sure, some periods of time will be easier for us than others and it’s natural to want to have it easy once in a while. But, there will always be adversity. If we’re telling ourselves that we’ll be happy if only we were more financially stable, or if only health problems would get better, or if only we had anything else we’re coveting, then we’re going to wake up one day and realize that we’ve spent all our time waiting for some future that never came and that we’ve missed out on enjoying so many great moments.

It took me five years to finish my University degree. I have many, many good memories of my time as a post-secondary student. I have not forgotten the thrills of getting the highest mark in the class, or the excitement of a new term or a lecture of particular interest. Nor have I forgotten the heavy workload, the lack of sleep or the wasted tears and tantrums over a lower-than-hoped mark on an assignment or exam of dubious relevance to the rest of my life. But when I think back on those years, the memories that come more readily to mind are those brief stolen moments where I wasn’t celebrating or worrying about this or that. Laughing at a joke the professor made that only I seemed to appreciate. Meeting my best friend while getting horribly distracted from a math study group. Having a drink with the professors and some fellow students and remembering the camaraderie, but not much of the conversation. Watching the squirrels in the forest I was attempting to study in. Or my personal favourite: walking to a nearby park after class for some impromptu relaxation with my husband on a gorgeous Fall day. These were all moments that almost never happened. These were all on days where I had very little sleep, had assignments or exams due imminently that I was not yet ready for, and generally times where I should’ve been someplace else, doing something else. And yet these are the moments I remember best and moments that I absolutely would not hesitate for a moment to repeat if I had to do it all over again. I’m happy I did have those moments - I think I could’ve used more of them - live and learn though, right?

I’m not advocating escapism or neglecting responsibilities. I did gain a lot from my degree and graduated at the top of my class. If I had to do it over again, I would also repeat that level of effort in my studies (although I also would’ve tried harder to find even more time for friends). It’s not about having to choose between being successful and enjoying it as you go. I wasn’t successful despite those stolen moments, I was successful because of them. I made a conscious effort to really experience and enjoy what I was doing, while I was doing it. I do remember several occasions, usually around 2-6a.m., where I wasn’t too happy to be doing what I was doing instead of, say, sleeping. But on the whole, I think I did pretty good.

I was expecting it to get easier when I entered the workforce (that shows how naïve I was!), but my experience has been thus far that it doesn’t ever get any easier to find moments to enjoy the present. Budget cuts, tight deadlines, too much work for too few people and my own detail-oriented, perfectionist tendencies create an environment where it’s sometimes a challenge to take in the moment. I often have to remind myself to stop, take a moment to breath, take a walk, enjoy time with my colleagues or just marvel at the amazing opportunities I’ve had and how great it is to be able to do what I do. I’m still building a bank of memories that are worth so much more than seeing my work published or hearing that people appreciate it (although that’s great too! ). And once again, I’m discovering that’s not a hindrance to success, but a key to success. That gives me even more assurance that I’m on the right path and motivation to keep improving!

I look at the retired, semi-retired or near-retired people I know and I see the same story over again. Those who are most happy are those who, through the ups and downs, still find a way to approach each day with a smile and enjoy some part of it. The stresses never stop - there’s always something - what changes is our attitude and how we respond.

So just like how I need to remind myself every now and again, here’s your reminder that peace is not the absence of conflict from life, but the ability to cope with it.

Margaret Bailey lives in Ottawa with her husband and two cats. She believes strongly that knowledge is only useful if applied and shared. She strives to be a light to all who cross her path or walk with her awhile.