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Building a Future with Margaret Bailey

Submitted by Frank Moffatt on Saturday, 28 August 20104 Comments

LESSONS FROM TWINS

I’ll admit to being simultaneously fascinated and creeped out by identical twins. Perhaps I’ve just never gotten familiar enough with both of a pair to get comfortable with the idea.

 

Part of it I think is the want-to-be scientist in me that sees the amazing gift to observe the impacts of genes vs. environment vs. something else beyond scientific explanation. For instance, clearly personality doesn’t come from our genes because even if they grow up together, twins are always as different from each other as any other siblings. Slight differences in surroundings and experiences can’t explain everything either. Therefore, personality comes from somewhere else that – so far as I know – science has yet to explain. I find that a comforting thought.

 

At any rate, identical twins can serve as a great illustration of the impact our thoughts, our choices and our attitudes can have. Twins seem to get easier to tell apart as they age, subtle physical differences gradually appear (not to mention not-so-subtle differences like hairstyle & clothing preferences!). However, the reigning champions of easiest-to-tell-apart-identical-twins for me still goes to a pair I knew when they were 18. For today, let me call them Jake and Simon.

 

Here’s the algorithm: If you walk into a room with both of them and only one of them is smiling, Jake is the one smiling. If both are smiling, Jake is the one with the widest smile whose eyes are smiling too. If neither are smiling – here’s the kicker – Jake is the one with distinct laugh lines around his mouth and eyes – even as young as 18!!! Can’t blame that one on genetics. No wrinkles-easily-gene there. And at that young of an age, I doubt you could blame it on skin care regimes either.

 

You know, maybe wrinkles aren’t such a bad thing after all.

 

You could say the difference in personality is innate; they were born different and could do nothing about it. I don’t buy that. To a certain extent, yes; we are all born as unique individuals and I don’t think we should be striving to be anyone besides who we are. But I do think it’s always in my control to be the best me I can be. If I’m shy and don’t want to be shy, I can change that. If I’m always sad, I can do things to improve that too. Did you know that if you force yourself to smile or laugh even if you don’t feel like it, you’ll start feeling better? Psychologists call that “facial feedback”. Whether I greet someone with a sincere smile or not is under my control. So is finding opportunities to laugh.

 

Today is a simple reminder to smile and laugh as often as you can and be proud of any wrinkles that come as a result!

 

Margaret Bailey lives in Ottawa with her husband and two cats. She believes strongly that knowledge is only useful if applied and shared. She strives to be a light to all who cross her path or walk with her awhile.

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4 Comments »

  • Jackie said:

    I have identical twin sisters and it’s amazing how much they are the same, yet at the same time they are like opposites as well. One thing for sure they know how to finish each others sentences.

    Nice reading thankyou!

    - 29 August 2010 at 2:52 am
  • Suzan said:

    Hey that’s interesting about the wrinkles, I have always had wrinkles from when I was young, I still have the same ones and I’m 50 so lets hope they are happy where they are :-)

    - 29 August 2010 at 3:01 am
  • Margaret said:

    Thanks for the comments ladies!

    I could be proven wrong on my views on twins - I’ll readily admit I’m no expert! For the twins I have known though, I’ve found the similarities and bond between them are no more than what you would expect from 2 siblings that are the same gender, close in age and have some reason to bond.

    “If anyone can show me, and prove to me, that I am wrong in thought or deed, I will gladly change. I seek the truth, which never yet hurt anybody. It is only persistence in self-delusion and ignorance which does harm.”
    ~Marcus Aurelius

    - 30 August 2010 at 4:02 pm
  • Kip said:

    I had a friend with identical twin brothers. One was playing the stock market and got depressed when he lost a lot of money. So he got in his car and left Vancouver. When his brother came home he jumped in his car and went after him. The first night they both stayed in Kamloops, BC about two blocks apart. The next night they both stayed in Penticton, BC less than 1/2 a mile apart. The next day he found him in Cranbrook BC.

    Strange maybe :-)

    - 2 September 2010 at 2:52 am

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