MARKING THE MOMENT
For most of my life, I’ve maintained a long – sometimes very long! – head of hair. I recently cut a ton of it off and someone asked me why (careful what you ask for!).
The only other time of my life that I’ve had hair this short (*gasp* shoulder length!) happened to be among the best times of life. It was at the beginning of my relationship with my husband. I was taking good care of myself – body, mind and soul. I had a good solid group of close friends. And all of that was still novel enough to me that I didn’t take an ounce of it for granted.

What happened since? Stress. Life. Change. I lost my path a little, sometimes a lot. The last few years have been rough. I think it was good for me to lose my way a bit; it’s given me a chance to re-find it and the motivation to stay the course a bit better this time around. The last 8 months or so I feel has been a rebirth for me. To give an idea of what the last 21 months have been like for me:

• I bought a house and a car.
• The house didn’t turn out as good as hoped; we dealt with all kinds of home repair issues and culture shock (I didn’t realize how much of a city kid I am until I moved to the country!). The lifestyle change was more than we anticipated!
• The car was totalled in an accident. For the record, it was the other guy’s fault and he fully owned up to it. I had whiplash and needed months of therapy to regain normal range of motion.
• I sustained a second major injury while still recovering from the first.
• I wasn’t the only one in my family with health concerns.
• There were some serious conflicts in the family and estrangements.
• I sold the house in a buyers’ market.

I bought another house in a sellers’ market with crazy time constraints (ever tried buying, closing and moving into a house in 2 weeks or less without taking time off work?? Miracles do happen, but at a price.)

What started about 8 months ago was that I found a bit of time to re-group. I took some time for me to just chill out a little bit and find a new sense of stability; give myself a breather before things take off again. I remembered what it was like to take care of myself. What it felt like to feel good about myself, inside and out. I started getting back into shape (relatively… still working on that!) and rediscovered past hobbies. I started taking stock of where I was. Reflecting on what I had been through and where I wanted to go from here.

I realized it was time to make a move in my career. I had learned a lot from where I was, but I was at a crossroads – it was time to sort out where I wanted to take my career before other people decided it for me. So I did some soul searching and came up with my ideal. Luckily, once I decided what I wanted, I already knew exactly who to call, everything fell into place and I started my new job within a few weeks. Due to that time I took to sort out what I wanted and a bit of luck, it’s turned out to be everything I hoped it would be and more!

So in the last few months, I’ve re-found some old hobbies and passions, got a new job, got a new career trajectory and got a new lease on life. Why did I cut my hair? It’s a new beginning for me. It may have taken me awhile to formally acknowledge that, but now I have. And I think it’s important to do something to mark the occasion - something to outwardly express the feeling!

Will I keep it short? Unlikely. Do I think I’d ever cut it all off again? Absolutely! That’s life for ya: constant change. I wouldn’t have it any other way. It’s a journey, not a destination. People come together in specific times and places, but nothing lasts forever. You can’t ever go back in time; once gone, that dynamic of people and circumstance is gone forever. That’s what makes it so special. Enjoy everything as best you can while you can. Make as many memories as you can that you’ll look back on with a smile.

Just as importantly, remember to take a moment every now and again to pause and look at where you’ve been, where you are and where you’re going.

A year and a half ago, I had the pleasure of attending a “Follow a Compass, Not a Map” motivational speech by Steve Donahue. His speech is designed for organizations that work in a constantly changing environment (read: everyone). It’s based on his experience crossing the Sahara Desert. See, when you climb a mountain (literally), you have a clear destination you can keep in sight and you have a map that lays out what you can expect. In the desert, the sands constantly shift. There are no maps that can tell you exactly what to expect, where and when. The locals can give you a rough idea, but there are no certainties. Are you seeing the analogy to day-to-day living yet? The take home message was clearly to follow the compass in your heart (or as outlined in your organization’s mission and vision statements, as the case may be) instead of sticking to the planned script - because things change. No plan is perfect, you have to be able to adjust to changing circumstances. I absolutely agree with this message. Have a plan, but be willing to throw it out the window if it no longer feels right.

He had a second take home message that I think is equally important to remember: stop at every oasis. In the desert, there a few places to stop, refuel and recharge. To skip an oasis in the interests of trying to get to your destination faster can be fatal. It’s not so drastic in our regular lives, but the lesson is equally applicable. We live in a world where so many people feel trapped on a treadmill. One thing after another, constant stress, constant time pressure, no perceived option to get out of the race even just for a little while to recover from the latest crisis. You know what? Sometimes you have to make the time. Hopefully you haven’t waited long enough to need to book a month or more off work to do this, but I hope you can find at least a few minutes of reflection on a regular basis for a few days. ‘Cause you can’t keep going a mile a minute, 24/7, and expect to learn from your mistakes, get where you want to go and be happy and fulfilled.

Find an oasis. Stop. Reflect. Replenish. Honour the experiences you’ve been through (especially the ones that leave a big impression) and mark those turning points!

Margaret Bailey lives in Ottawa with her husband and two cats. She believes strongly that knowledge is only useful if applied and shared. She strives to be a light to all who cross her path or walk with her awhile.