Health & Fitness

Humor & Fun

Lifestyle & Travel

Personal Growth

Product Reviews

Home » Humor & Fun

My Trip to Costco

Submitted by Frank Moffatt on Saturday, 5 June 20102 Comments

MY TRIP TO COSTCO
Yesterday I was at my local COSTCO buying a large bag of Purina dog chow for my loyal pet, Molson, the Wonder Dog and was in the checkout line when a woman behind me asked if I had a dog.

What did she think I had an elephant? So since I’m retired and have little to do, on impulse I told her that no, I didn’t have a dog, I was starting the Purina Diet again… I added that I probably shouldn’t, because I ended up in the hospital last time, but that I’d lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care ward with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IV’s in both arms.

I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that it works is to load your pants pockets with Purina nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry. The food is nutritionally complete so it works well and I was going to try it again. (I have to mention here that practically everyone in line was now enthralled with my story.)

Horrified, she asked if I ended up in intensive care because the dog food poisoned me. I told her no, I stepped off a curb to sniff an Irish Setter’s ass and a car hit us both.

I thought the guy behind her was going to have a heart attack he was laughing so hard.

Now Costco won’t let me shop there anymore.

Better watch what you ask retired people. They have all the time in the world to think of crazy things to say.

  • Share/Save/Bookmark

2 Comments »

  • Mags said:

    hahahahahaha *pause for breath* hahahahahahaha

    I beg to differ - that’s why you talk to retired folks! :-)

    - 5 June 2010 at 4:57 pm
  • Kathy said:

    Funny :) I had a good laugh!
    The lady just wanted to start a
    conversation with you….some people
    are rather awkward at this! Hahahaha!
    I guess she’ll think before talking
    next time :)

    - 5 June 2010 at 11:49 pm

Leave your response!

Add your comment below, or trackback from your own site. You can also subscribe to these comments via RSS.

Be nice. Keep it clean. Stay on topic. No spam.

You can use these tags:
<a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <strike> <strong>

This is a Gravatar-enabled weblog. To get your own globally-recognized-avatar, please register at Gravatar.